At some point in our lives, there comes a time when there is a role-reversal where we need to start caring for aging parents. This transition can be difficult and can occur unexpectedly due to a sudden injury or accident. Perhaps your aging father has fallen and broken a hip and now needs extra care. On average caregivers tend to loved ones at least 20 hours a week. Often it feels like much more. Balancing caregiving with a full-time job as well as other responsibilities is a lot and burnout is real. Here are some tips on how to care for aging parents.

• Think carefully before quitting a job. While leaving a job frees up a to start caring for aging parents, there is a loss of income and damage to retirement savings. If you are considering this route, take time to consider all of your options. Can you go back to work in the future? How would this affect your future job prospective?
• Consider employment benefits. Consider health insurance, employee disability, life insurance and long-term care insurance if you are thinking about quitting your job. Check if there are family leave policies that would allow you to take time off and to return in the future.
• Care giving budget. Organize a budget of what you spend on care giving. Make another list of your parents’ resources and brainstorm how their resources can be used to better cover costs.
• Understand costs. Being surrounded by family and loved ones, familiar possessions, and growing old in your own home is a common desire for aging parents. Look into how much this will actually cost. Can you find help or assistance from family members?
• Consider professional help. Sometimes there are extensive and challenging needs that can be overwhelming. Look into professional support services such as home care and nursing services. Home care services provide personal support & care, housekeeping, respite care, and more.
• Be wary of financial scams. Unfortunately, financial abuse of elderly is a reality. Always be alert and make sure that your parents are protected from scammers.
• Discuss the future. It may be difficult, but is it necessary. Talk to your parents about their wishes in case you are left with legal responsibilities to make decisions on their behalf. You can speak with an attorney or an elderly care expert about a living will, legal responsibilities, a healthcare proxy, and more.
• Make a retirement plan. Is a retirement plan secured in your future? How might your financial future be affected by you caring for your parents? These are important types of questions to ask yourself.

Caring for aging parents when you have siblings:

Caring for aging parents alone is challenging in and of itself. If you have siblings, the extra help is useful, but it can also be a source of added stress. Managing financial responsibilities, medical decisions and duties becomes even more complex. Below are some things to keep in mind when caring with siblings:

• Family dynamics. Think about your family history and dynamics: what type of role did you and your siblings fit into? Someone might have always been the responsible one, the playful one, the caring one etc. How do these roles pertain to you today, if at all? Have they changed? How will they affect/not affect the demands of caring for your parents?
• Shared responsibility. Caring for aging parents is a lot of responsibility. The question of who will be primary caregiver(s) for parents may come up. Think carefully and consider each person’s skills, availability and location before deciding who is best suited for this role. Are there other family members who can contribute financially or with their time?
• Family meetings. Holding weekly family meetings can be helpful for clarifying concerns, working out conflicts, and setting up a care plan.